The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
