No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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