i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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