and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
