so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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