he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
