what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
