used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
