I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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