I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
