I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
