the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
