why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
