Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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