Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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