Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Of course I have a pirate flag
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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