6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
