is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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