i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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