I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
