I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
what day is it and did you see me today?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
