Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
