i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
