It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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