Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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