I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
