I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
