Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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