NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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