Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
