You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
