real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
