well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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