new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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