Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
