Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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