She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
