Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Holy shit dude........stairs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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