i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
