My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
