i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
