I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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