That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
