I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
