Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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