That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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