next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
