There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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