dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
