69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
