WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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